About some Stairs

I started attending the gym in September 2022 -

There are a lot of things I could say about the experience. It has genuinely been very positive. Don't get me wrong - there has moments when I have almost wanted to throw in the towel, but I'm glad I've had those moments, as each time I've forced myself to walk back through the doors, I've reconstructed my confidence and learnt so much about myself.

But, if I'm being honest, nothing is more telling about how impacting the gym has been for me than the stairs.

At Paragon Fitness - the gym I go too - there is a simple flight of stairs that you head directly up, to get into the weights and bikes/treadmill section on the second floor. When I first started, I could barely make it up those stairs. My knees almost gave out every time I walked up them. I would walk into the gym and face those stairs, and feel an enormous sense of frustration swell up inside about myself, and my weak, pain filled body.

Gahhhh...

I'd gripe and moan about the stairs as I hiked myself up them.

They were a really - really - obvious test, every time I went in, and I had to climb those stairs.

The months crept on.

And those stairs were still hard.

Why wasn't anything happening?

Why wasn't I getting better.

Shouldn't I have been improving?

I went through flare-ups and migraines and still, I climbed those stupid stairs. I remained consistent - but you know what the key was in the end - I didn't beat myself up about missing a session. I could be consistent, and still be kind to myself. Over the past few years I've been really learning who I am, and coming to really love that person (but, that might be a whole different blog)

It took about eight months of that consistency for me to finally be able to bounce up those stairs. Now when I am faced with them everytime I go into the gym, I don't see them as a sign of failure, or a symbol of my pain and inabilities, but as a symbol of persistence and victory. I jog up those stairs, proud of myself that I have actually, finally, overcome something.