Today I took my last doses of a migraine medication called Aimovig. I was part of a program in Australia given the medication on a trial base to see if it would help people with migraines. It did help. It did really, really well - however it did not pass the PBS and therefore to afford this medication is impossible. I simply do not have an extra $800 a month lying around. ^_^;
However, I have been immensely blessed for three years to have received this medication for free. I cannot - I cannot stress enough - how grateful I have been to my neurologist, who's been the kindest, most understanding medical professional for over ten years now, and to the pharmaceutical company trying to bring this drug to Australia, who even sent me another six months supply out of sheer kindness after Covid-19 hit. I burst into tears on the phone when I was given the extra supply. The sheer relief - the overwhelming gratitude I felt - wow - they tried really, really hard to get the medication to pass the PBS but it got rejected with each attempt.
So, I don't know what to do.
I am terrified of this uncertainty. I am terrified of my migraines coming back - and not just the migraines - but the headache - the constant, never-ending-forever-headache. I'd had a headache, a constant - unrelenting headache, for so long, so, so long, I'd forgotten what it meant not to have a headache.
And I am so scared to go back to that unrelenting hell.
Aimovig was the first medication that had ever worked for me and I am so frustrated that I have something so close, just within my reach - but - there is no way to afford it.
Next week I go to see my neurologist - I honestly have no idea what he's going to say.
2021 is starting off with this uncertainty hanging over me.
I just don't know.
I think that's becoming to motto of my life:
"I just don't know."
I'll just keep trusting that everything will be okay.